School Bullies

Save Your Child from Bullies
Ashok Pandey
In an American-style campus shooting, two students of a private school in Gurgaon shot dead a classmate as he was about to take the schoolbus home, on 11th December 2007.
Abhishek Tyagi, a class VIII student of Euro International School in Sector 45, was shot five times from close range on his forehead, chest and shoulder inside the campus. The 14-year-old was declared dead at hospital. Akash Yadav had brought his father’s licensed foreign-made pistol and both boys took turns to shoot Abhishek.
Abhishek allegedly used to bully them at school because he was of better build. About five days ago, they had a fight and school authorities had intervened and settled the matter. But the two said Abhishek had threatened to kill them. "Before Abhishek could act, Akash brought his father’s pistol, and hid it in the school toilet. After school (around 2 pm), Akash retrieved the pistol and fired at Abhishek.
The fact that the alleged bully Abhishek Tyagi - the victim - was himself a leader and a discipline in-charge reflects the vent in the structure. When a school appoints a bully as a leader, we are unconsciously giving him a licence to rule and this brings into play a series of interactions from within and without.
What is bullying?
Bullying has been defined as “the tendency for some children to frequently oppress, harass or intimidate other children, verbally, physically or both, in and out of school.”
Bullying comprises of spacious range of behaviors mostly found in teens again and again trying to harm somebody who is weaker. It involves direct harass (eg.hitting, frightening, unkindly teasing and taunting, name-calling, making comments, and robbery or injuring to belongings) or indirect harass such as scattering gossip or encouraging others to discard or leave out someone. Efforts to stop school bullying range from presentations to entire schools to discussions with individual students about how to respond when they are bullied or when they see someone bullying another student.
Teen School bullying can show the way adolescents to feel tense, worried, and terrified. It can have an effect on their attention in school, and can lead them to keep away from school in some reasons. If teens bullying goes on with for some time, it can start to affect adolescence self-respect and way of thinking of confidence. It also can lead them to become reserved and down in the dumps, uneasy and anxious. In severe cases, bullying can be overwhelming for adolescence, with long-term consequences. Some adolescence feel obligated to take extreme actions, such as carrying arms for protection or seeking cruel revenge. Teens, in nervousness, even think about suicide.
"Positive peer pressure is an important component of effective intervention. When uninvolved students step up and let the perpetrator know that their behaviour is not acceptable. It's a powerful message.
Dr. Dan Olweus of the University of Bergen, Norway, an international authority on bullying, has found that 60 percent of boys identified as bullies in grades 6 to 9 had at least one court conviction by age 24. Over time, compared to the general population, they had four times more relatively serious than nonbullies.
The victim of a bully must be counselled. He must learn to ignore and walk away for as long as he can. If the bully persists then the parent and the principal must meet and find a solution. But both the bully and the victim need intervention and attention.
Schools must communicate the value of caring and demonstrate that care and parental monitoring and patience must be encouraged. When incidents are allowed to accumulate they fester in children and they feel that violence toward others is a way to solve problems. When a student like this needs a solution badly, he will hurt others, as he has been hurt.
The most common form is name-calling. Children call others names for many reasons: because the other child is short or fat, is of a different skin colour, or has a lisp, a stutter or a physical disability. Bullies often want people to look up to them, and they try to achieve this by acting tough. Their behaviour is usually initiated to create status for themselves.
How can you tell if your child is being bullied? Most schoolchildren won’t tell you, often because they are afraid of reprisals. But certain symptoms should make you suspicious. These include unexplained reluctance to go to school; fearfulness or unusual anxiety; sleep disturbances and nightmares; vague physical complaints (headaches, stomachaches), especially on school days; or belongings that come home ripped or are missing altogether.
Some parents find it embarrassing to learn that their child is being bullied. But a few simple rules make it a lot easier to deal with:
· Be a good listener. Stay calm, and give your child plenty of time to tell you how he or she feels. Make it clear it’s not your child’s fault. Above all, don’t suggest your child simply fight back.
· Don’t overreact. Ask yourself, is this serious enough to discuss with the teacher? With the principal? With the police?

· If it occurs on the way to or from school, find a safe route and arrange for an older child companion. Follow up with school authorities. Ask what action has been taken and how your child will be kept safe if his identity has been exposed.In considering a school for your child, you should ask the principal if it has an antibullying policy and, if it does, how well it works. If you are told “We don’t have that problem here,” don’t believe it. The problem exists in all schools.